My husband attempted to convert me, but I told him I was already born again —Rev Popoola

Apostle Sunday and Rev (Mrs) Omowunmi Popoola of the Word Communication Ministries (WOCOM) and Christ Family Assembly Churches are God’s generals of repute home and abroad with a profound voice in Christendom and impact cutting across the continents of the world. Their exemplary marital life is 40 years old. In this interview, Rev Omowumi shares her wealth of marital experience with MODUPE GEORGE. Excerpts:

Can we share the story of how you met your husband?

My husband and I met at the University of Lagos (UNILAG). On this fateful day, I was in the cafeteria and he happened to be there at the same time and we sat together at the same table. At one point he began to talk to me about Jesus. It was a trend in those days as a born-again Christian to always want to share your faith with someone else. Meanwhile, at that time, young believers were branded as SU and I didn’t like that. I was born again about two years before my admission to UNILAG. So, I had made up my mind that I was not going to be tagged an SU or born again in school. Unfortunately, I was now sitting at the same table with this guy who wanted to share the gospel with me, which was making me angry. I was not responding to all his gestures, but he was tenacious. However, I noticed that his approach was gentle and he was good-looking. In the long run, his appearance attracted me to him and I suddenly forgot that I wasn’t going to listen to him. I managed to tell him that I was born again too, so we shifted the conversation to just exchanging pleasantries. When he told me his name I remember he happened to be a cousin to one of my classmates in secondary school. At that point, a thought came up in my mind that he may be my future husband but I just allowed it to pass; that was our first contact. We never saw each other again until our paths crossed again at the fellowship, where we began to relate as brethren, but then, I noticed further that he was a very pleasant person and a good Christian too.

I later got to know that he was a leader at the Lagos Christian Varsity Union, which I later joined because, like I said, I wasn’t planning to continue as a born-again Christian on campus. We later grew closer to each other; we were in the same unit at the fellowship and different activities kept bringing us together.

At what point did you decide to spend the rest of your life with him?

As different assignments brought us together at the fellowship, I began to see his good qualities and the more I got attracted to him. So, at one point he told me he wanted to have a word with me. He came to where I was reading, and while seeing me off, I asked what it was that he wanted to talk to me about. He just said plainly that he loved me and he would like to marry me. That was another thing I love about him is that he can be very blunt. Before then, some other brothers had come to me with stories of how God showed them that I was going to be their wife, but he just went straight to the point.

Forty years down the line, did you envisage this kind of lifestyle, impacts and exploits you are doing today when he asked for your hand in marriage?

Not at all; I just loved him for who he was. Like I told you, I was attracted to him because he looked very handsome and not just that, he was neat, tall, and light-complexioned with his beautiful afro cut, coupled with the fact that he was a wonderful Christian. I never thought about the fact that he would be a renowned preacher of the gospel in this capacity. Invariably, when he shared with me that he sensed the call of God upon his life, it was a kind of turn-off for me because I didn’t think I wanted to go that way. However, he gave me the chance to speak my mind, wait on God and think it through. I didn’t just say yes because I loved him. Here we are 40 years down the lane.

Tell us the secret of your beautiful and successful marriage.

The first secret is the fact that I gave my life to Jesus Christ and I am also a disciple who has gone through Bible lessons which have in turn put me on the right path in life. My husband is also from that same background, which informs our foundation in biblical knowledge about marriage and building a Christian home. We know that marriage is God’s idea and He is the only one who can teach a couple how to run it well. In the early days of the Christian journey, we were taught how to listen and hear from God. If I had missed my moment then, I would have missed out on destiny. I remembered that before he came, a lecturer at the university proposed to me just like some other guys also did. I could have gone with those people but God helped me to know that he was the one he had appointed for me. Knowing how to hear from God and His perfect will for one’s life is key in choosing a life partner and even in marriage is one of the major secrets of our successful marriage. When that is the basis, it becomes easy for two people to be able to live together and understand each other.

Can you share your most joyful moments in marriage for 40 years?

There have been so many joyful moments in the last 40 years. The arrival of each of our children, especially the first child and their weddings were all memorable. Every citywide evangelistic crusade that was held, especially that of Liberty Stadium, Ibadan, and the international ones in Liberia and Côte d’Ivoire, our first UK World Harvest Conference held in Emmanuel Centre Westminster, first Total Recovery Night in Adamasingba Stadium, Ibadan, in 2002, my 60th birthday surprise in Dubai and Ibadan. I can’t exhaust the list of my joyful moments. God has truly been good to us.

Does the God factor matter when it comes to choosing a life partner?

To me, the God factor is the number one, two, three and up to number 10 in the list of factors when it comes to choosing whom to marry. The reason is that even before we came out of our mother’s womb, He knew everything about us. So, the first step is to connect with God and that is the right way to connect with our destiny. Today, people say, oh, we thank God for your life, you are this and that. The truth is if I had not met this man, I wouldn’t have been this pleasant person; one who is considerate, tolerant and content. My husband’s wonderful personality rubbed off on me. Can you imagine me losing all of these?

Most of our youths believe that materialism and money are what make a good marriage, what is your take?

The truth is everything is in the package. Anyone who wants to have the future now will end up getting a fake thing. When we met, there wasn’t anything in terms of money, materialism or what have you. I had to trust God with my life; we didn’t have anything when we got married. All we had was God’s leading and a sense of purpose, even when we started the ministry. I knew that if God led me to it, He would make it good and that was what helped us all through. I was ready to go through the journey with him. I would advise that people should be futuristic, rather than just looking at the present.

Generally, money is very important in marriage, because when the necessary needs are not met, there will be stress and this will have adverse effects on the marriage. This is the reason why a man who does not have any stream of income is not advised to get married, except if the woman has and is ready to support the family while the man sorts himself out in the meantime. However, money should not be the determinant of a happy marriage. Once a couple has the necessities of life, they should live happily; godliness with contentment is a great gain. They should also continue to aspire for a better life and work towards it together as they trust God to bless them.

How should finances be handled in marriage? Does it matter who is bringing more money?

Where love and understanding exist, it doesn’t matter who brings in more money. What is important is for the family’s needs to be met. Husbands should however carry the mentality of the provider. He should see and appreciate his wife as a helper, not a provider. Men should accept the responsibility of providing for their families as ordained by God and work hard to take their rightful places. Women love to collect money from their husbands. I believe in women stepping in to help their husbands when there are financial challenges.

Some schools of thought believe that marriage is mainly to fulfil sexual gratification. How true is this and how should it be handled or perceived in marriage?

Sex is very crucial in marriage. It has been a major cause of conflict in some marriages. It’s so important to the man, even the holy and anointed. Sex within the confines of marriage does more than just give men pleasure. The physical response of the wife to her husband in terms of kisses, hugs, touch, rubbing of his head, sitting on his lap, and other love acts affirm him as a man and affirm his masculinity. He sees this as an act of respect to him. A man does not only want all of these, he needs it. Men need to understand that they have a role to play in preparing their wives for this crucial assignment. Men are moved by what they see; at the mere sight of a likeable woman, a man can develop chemistry. A woman is not like that, she is relational; only tender-loving care can get her prepared. If a man wants his wife, he must be ready to pamper her all day. Having said that, marriage is not all about sex, it is more about purpose. God fulfils His on earth through the family; even our Lord Jesus Christ had to pass through a family. Each family has a divine purpose that should be discovered and pursued.

In this part of the world, a woman is believed not to be married to her husband alone but also to his entire family members. How did you manage your in-laws and out-laws, among other external forces in the early days of your marriage?

At one point or the other, some of my husband’s relatives lived with us. My mother-in-law was always with us. My husband would always tell his siblings “Whatever respect you cannot give my wife don’t bother to give to me.” He had made them realise from the outset that he doesn’t joke with his wife. They all understood from the beginning that I am a queen in my husband’s house and they all have treated me as such. So, that has made a lot of difference. To me, a woman should love her husband’s family members. You should accept everyone the way you have accepted your husband; don’t come with the mentality of ‘I will show them.’ Just know that they are your own. For the in-laws, especially when the marriage or couples are still very young, learn to give them their space, and don’t barge in on them at will. Even if you are their parents, show them some respect and leave them to enjoy themselves as husband and wife.

No doubt, there are different stages in marriage. What were childrearing experiences like in your marriage? Should everything in this regard be left to the woman alone to handle or is it a joint affair?

My husband was very supportive of me during these moments; there was nothing he could not do to assist. He would pray for me, run errands, clean the house, cook, show care and provide as well. With my own experience in this regard, it is teamwork. Husbands and wives should be supportive of each other. Childbearing is a difficult and stressful time for a woman. She needs a very understanding, enduring, patient and caring husband to scale through unhurt. A lot of hormonal and emotional changes go on in a woman that she cannot cope with all by herself but with the help of a good husband. She needs the unwavering support of her husband.

How have you been coping with an empty nest?

Our lives are embedded in impacting lives, hence the empty nest has allowed us to extend our reach to many others. We are not feeling the empty nest owing to our people-oriented work. The empty nest has therefore provided us with the needed atmosphere to rest and really enjoy ourselves.